Sep

21

BrewDog is coming to America. Eddie Murphy cannot be reached for comment.

Somewhere across the pond, the dawn is breaking and a team of BrewDog foot soldiers are quietly ironing their kilts, inspecting the viscosity of their blue face paint, and preparing for redemption. A guttural battle cry emerges from the back line and it is determined Alastair from accounting has pulled a hamstring. Only the strong will survive this war.

Still licking their wounds from a bitter loss in the UK International Arms Race, BrewDog Captain James Watt has spent the last 25 days retooling his plan of attack for round two. The battle for taste supremacy continues on October 15, when the BrewDog militia arrives on U.S. soil for three days of head-to-head competition. Civilians and supporters can seek refuge from war and try each brewery’s International Arms Race at the following:

  • Monday, Oct. 15 at Max’s Taphouse, Baltimore, MD
  • Tuesday, Oct. 16 at RFD, Washington, DC
  • Wednesday, Oct. 17 at Frisco’s Taphouse, Columbia, MD

Six months ago, Flying Dog and BrewDog decided on the terms of this most unusual craft beer collaboration. Hops and flame throwers were banned from the battlefield, but a host of other weapons to impart bitterness – spearmint, bay leaves, rosemary, juniper berries, and elderflower – were agreed upon to eventually formulate a no hop, Zero IBU IPA. Then, it was decided that each brewery would craft its own version of the beer to highlight the individual brewer’s influence on the recipe and avoid unnecessary in-person conversations that end with gross mispronunciations of the word Slàinte.

In the meantime, some 3,384 miles from Glasgow, the staff at Flying Dog is preparing for another epic battle.

Eight stories below the brewery, bunkered in a safe room filled with Gatorade and canned goods, 23-Star General Matt ‘Lovefreedom’ Brophy and Marketing Rear Admiral Ben Savage are finalizing their strategy for the three-city invasion by drawing X’s and O’s and dramatic looping arrows on a white board. The two are confident in their recipe but acknowledge the wild card in this race: America’s unreasonable love affair with UK accents.

May the best man win.


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